Disney would never be hip enough to do that. Jerk (v/o): Also, let's put Eddie Murphy in an animated movie. (Cut to the NBC Universal Experience, Jerk slowly makes his way up the shot like he was hiding.) Jerk (v/o): The legacy of this film truly befits a title that combines the words "Shit" and "Drek." After all, it is the film that told Hollywood, "Let's put Mike Myers in children's mov." (Cut to a clip from 2003's " The Cat in the Hat." Jerk screams.) AHHH, CLOWN DEMON! (Turns to the Donkey animatronic) YOU HAVE BLOOD ON YOUR HOOVES!
(beat) I still feel ripped off! I just know I could've cured cancer for good in those 90 minutes.
Jerk: I actually saw "Shrek The Third" for free at an animation festival. (Cut to Jerk by a fake waffle cart with an animatronic head of Donkey) I mean, I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof or whatever. Shrek: (To Arthur Pendragon) I feel you, dude. But, " Shrek the Third" was one of those sequels that was so wretchedly godawful, it actually ruins all the other movies that share its universe.
The movie that guided DreamWorks' path as a studio that mocks Disney, when not ripping them off (Referring to " Shark Tale"), because fuck that studio and it's cheesy direct-to-video sequels, WE'RE PUTTING OUR CHEESY SEQUELS IN THEATERS! (Referring to the Shrek sequels and " Puss in Boots" Spin-off) Yeah, I know these movies still have their fans, I thought the first two films were okay, but nowhere near as what Pixar was doing those years ("Shrek 1 and 2" came out on the same years that " Monsters Inc." and " The Incredibles"). Jerk (v/o): The infamous, puerile parody of overwrought, over-manufactured fairy tales that became an overwrought, over-manufactured fairy tale. (We then cut to a clip of the 1st " Shrek" film where Shrek farts while swimming in the swamp. (We get the theme and clips from "2001: A Space Odyssey.") The DreamWorks formula eluded them until 2001, when they released the fourth highest-grossing film of the year: A resoundingly successful instant classic that won the first ever Oscar for "Best Animated Feature." In the words of Katzenberg himself, it defined what a DreamWorks movie could and should be. Were they the studio that flipped the cute talking animal trope on its head with faux Orwellian satire? (Examples for this are " Antz" and " Chicken Run.") No. (We get examples of this with Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest, Anastasia, and Quest for Camelot) Katzenberg knew DreamWorks had to be different, but how? Were they the studio that told the epic tales of history and mythology that Disney wouldn't touch? (Examples are "Prince of Egypt" and " The Road to El Dorado") No. But the other rival studios mostly just copied the Disney formula. They weren't the first to try, of course. Jerk (v/o): Not only were these lunatics (Spielberg, Katzenberg, and Geffen) setting up the first new Hollywood studio in 60 years, they sought to finally challenge Disney at the animated box office. Personally, I get them for free every time I sleep at night, but what do I know? Jerk: So, “DreamWorks SKG” was founded and finally, workers could make decent livings manufacturing dreams. (Cut to Spielberg, Katzenberg, and Geffen’s heads as like a “Three Stooges” logo with the caption: “DreamWorks Studios SKG”) Spielberg, Katzenberg, Geffen-berg (Their initials are part of “DreamWorks SKG”), few forces in the universe are stronger than three power Jews who want to be even more powerful-ier. Jerk (v/o): Steven Spielberg got tired of working for Universal, Jeffrey Katzenberg got tired of working for Disney, David Geffen got tired of working for…his own last name (Geffen Records). (We cut to the entrance archway for the park with the "Some Jerk With A Camera" Logo in the same style as "Shrek." The song "Deliver Us” from “ The Prince of Egypt” plays.)
Jerk: To all who come to this reasonably content place, welcome. (We cut to Jerk in front of the Universal Studios Hollywood entrance sign.)